No Agenda Space: a movement of silent companionship growing across India

In late March, Rakshitha A., 32, went to a stranger’s home to learn a e-book. She settled on a couch subsequent to a sleepy canine, solely getting as much as make herself a cup of tea. Soon, she was joined by one other unfamiliar girl who positioned herself on the desk within the cosy front room. The girls sometimes smiled or nodded at one another however not often spoke. While this will appear unusual to most, it’s a glimpse into a silent movement the place girls are creating secure areas for one another.

It was in January this 12 months that 36-year-old Meghna Chaudhury, coaching to be a therapist, determined to open up her house in Indiranagar, Bengaluru, to girls and non-binary individuals, to work, paint, sleep, learn, and extra importantly, do nothing, in the event that they so wished. Her submit about this ‘No Agenda Space’ blew up on social media, and in simply a day, 20-30 girls had reached out to Chaudhury asking if they might use the house.

The thought for this initiative sparked from an surprising afternoon of “non-talking companionship” between three of her pals, who had been strangers to one another, and occurred to come back over on the identical day in mid-January. Women current in one another’s firm with none expectations, or labour calls for, made Chaudhury conscious of the shortage of such areas. So, she created one.

“I named it No Agenda Space because it’s just that — a third space that isn’t their home or workplace and doesn’t demand anything, not even a conversation, from anyone who identifies as a woman,” she says. “This space is completely anti-performative small talk. But it’s often expected of women. I wanted to create a space where they can just exist.” Chaudhury’s two-bedroom condominium is open to strangers 5 days a week from midday to 4:30 p.m., after prior registration on-line. People are free to make use of her WiFi, seize snacks from the kitchen and even put together one thing for themselves.

Starting this month, she is asking for a contribution of ₹80 per head to cowl prices like electrical energy, water and so forth. For security causes, Chaudhury has made it necessary for individuals to convey an identification proof. She additionally ensures there are two or three girls visiting on the identical time. Her canine, Millie, is commonly a participant at these classes and may be discovered cuddling up with a stranger or taking a snooze with one other.

One factor Chaudhury is evident about: there can be no internet hosting. “It’s my rejection of the idea of a woman having to host. I don’t want the responsibility of catering to other people’s needs in my own home. I am tired of that,” she explains.

The want for a third house

Increasingly, across India, many individuals like Chaudhury reside within the shadows of city loneliness and discover it exhausting to keep up grownup friendships. There can be the fixed labour that ladies, particularly, must do in any house. Be it bodily or emotional, one thing is at all times requested of their presence. “Among all these responsibilities, you don’t get time for yourself. So, sometimes leisure is just sleeping without answering five phone calls from your children, partner or colleague,” says Chaudhury.

For the ladies who’ve used Chaudhury’s place within the final three months, it has been about not having to carry out an identification and liberating themselves of clingy gendered impositions. For occasion, whereas one girl got here to take a nap, one other painted, and two others who had misplaced their pets frolicked with Millie. Interestingly, one girl was advisable the house by her therapist, whereas one other got here there to attend a web based remedy session. “It made me think about how women often don’t feel safe enough to do that in their own homes,” says Chaudhury.

For individuals with ADHD (consideration deficit hyperactivity dysfunction) or for these on the autism spectrum, such third areas are useful and nurturing, says Rinkle Jain, a neurodivergent psychologist and psychotherapist based mostly in Mumbai. “Often, they can’t just exist the way they want. They can’t constantly get up and walk around in their workspace, or expect a quiet environment at home. So, having a third space gives them a sense of agency. It’s almost like they can breathe better,” she explains.

A refuge through the pandemic

However, the thought of offering a third house for ladies “to do nothing” is just not completely new. Back in 2021, on the top of the pandemic, Indu Antony arrange Namma Katte in Bengaluru as a result of she needed to supply a secure house for ladies in view of the rising quantity of home violence instances.

Women take a pause at Namma Katte in Bengaluru.
| Photo Credit:
Indu Antony

“There was no third space where women could go without having to spend money. Namma Katte [meaning ‘our place’ in Kannada] gives them a place to exist without any questions from morning to evening,” says Antony. Since Namma Katte is located in a public space with no doorways — it was a store as soon as — Antony hopes that the subsequent technology will see girls merely resting in full visibility, one thing she had by no means witnessed growing up.

Antony factors out the socio-economic disparity that exists between the individuals who go to Namma Katte and No Agenda Space. “When someone from the upper class starts a space like this, it garners a lot of attention but it’s not the same for people from underprivileged sections,” she says. But Antony is pleased to see extra girls creating secure areas for one another and hopes social limitations of caste and sophistication may be eradicated sometime.

 Indu Antony, founder of Namma Katte in Bengaluru.
| Photo Credit:
Vivek Muthuramalingam

A growing movement

Inspired by Chaudhury, girls across Bengaluru and a few in different cities have determined to create No Agenda Spaces. For occasion, Vidhu Vinod who lives in Kaggadasapura, Bengaluru, is inviting individuals to make use of her house a few days a week to “come chill”. “Women, especially, don’t have enough safe third spaces like men do, to just be themselves. The fact that this idea has picked up and we are creating a network of such spaces for each other shows how big a need this was,” says Vinod. 

In Mumbai, girls can go to Shruthi Jahagirdar’s house one Sunday each month for 4 hours to work on their desires. “I know how expensive the city is and working on your startup or idea in cafes is not something many can afford. Since I live by myself, the least I can give other women is four hours in my house to do whatever they want in a no-judgment zone,” she explains.

Arundhati Gaddala, who lives in Hyderabad, hopes to supply silent companionship to girls via a No Agenda Space. “I want to just be there when someone needs help to get through something they might be struggling with,” she says.

Seeing how shortly and eagerly girls have proven up for one another, Chaudhury feels overwhelmed. “This space has made me realise that even without words, there can be sisterhood,” she says.

The unbiased journalist specialises in gender, tradition, and social justice.